The Soothing Thing About Solitude

Can there be anything that feels more liberating, more calming, and more satisfying than having some time for yourself? And by “time for yourself,” I mean time alone with only yourself for company. No family, no friends, no colleagues: just you in a place where you feel safe and happy and calm.

There are people I know — some I’m even related to, by the way — who don’t seem to understand this. For them, being alone is unbearable: it’s too quiet, too boring, and too sad for them. They are of the opinion that you can’t enjoy yourself if you’re all alone; there’s no one to talk to, no one to interact with. For them, fun — and pretty much life in general — calls for company.

I beg to differ: solitude can be a cathartic and meaningful experience.

For someone like me who has had to battle both depression and high-functioning anxiety for the longest time, solitude is much better than, say, a noisy night out with people one isn’t even close to. In my case, me-time means any of the following things:

• A meal to be savoured alone in the corner of a crowded restaurant, all senses focused on the food and not strained on trying to single out one conversation out of the strident babel around you;
• Curling up on one’s bed with a book, one of several well-thumbed-through volumes on one’s bookshelf. There may be newer tomes just waiting to be read, but old favourites are a constant source of comfort — reading them is like reconnecting with old yet cherished friends;
• Exploring a city without the organised chaos of a tour group where you can barely hear the guide and your fellow travellers are griping all around you. You get to cover more ground that way and you get to experience a place to the fullest extent;
• Enjoying a drink alone, sipping it slowly as opposed to glugging it down in one go, taking the time to experience the nuances of flavour, texture, and aroma in each sip;
• Finding yourself alone in a place of worship, going down on your knees to offer up a prayer of thanksgiving or a heartfelt petition begging for a favour from the heavens;
• Even in a noisy street or aboard a crowded bus, you can wrap yourself in a cocoon of solitude by slipping on your earbuds and turning up your favourite music.

Sometimes, you really need to separate yourself from the world around you, even for a while. And, when you do, take it as an opportunity to soothe yourself from the effects of the stresses around you; you owe it to yourself.